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Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person is still speaking while you are already framing your next comment? If so, it’s likely you have stopped actively listening.
Inspiring clients to act in their best interests starts with your ability to slow down your own thoughts with a healthy dose of "agendaless" listening. Here’s how to drop your agenda and learn what matters most to clients:
- Practice leaving yourself behind. Be in the moment with the other person and work hard to not let that inner voice distract you. When your client is speaking, you may be thinking “Oh, I have the answer. After all, I’m the expert in the room. I’m paid to formulate solutions.”
Instead, try to catch that thought and release it. “I get paid to listen, not to speak” will resonate more than “I get paid to have solutions.” Follow that response with your next insightful question. - Avoid “solution thinking” altogether. While you are the expert on financial matters, it shouldn’t translate into quickly formulating solutions since this means you've stopped actively listening. Focus on becoming an expert on the person with whom you're speaking.
- Prepare with wonder. The fuel for great listening starts with asking great questions based on genuine interest and continues by asking follow-up questions to allow the conversation to move toward the next level of client understanding. Develop a mindset of curiosity by wondering:
- "What might be their deep feelings and attitudes about money?"
- "How does money impact their self-image?"
- "What memories, beliefs or family influences may be affecting their decisions about money?"
- "How can I best help them?"
- Go beyond words. As your clients talk, listen carefully. Go beyond their words—their "text"—and notice their "subtext"—the meaning behind their words. Pay careful attention to their facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Often, that’s where deeper truths lie. Judiciously deploy the power of the pause. Be comfortable in silence. Remember, out of silence emerges truth.
- Validate what they say. When someone feels that you are trying to see the world through their eyes it fosters positive emotions. People want to be heard; most of us crave a good listen. Validating does not mean you necessarily agree with them, rather it means you heard them.
Bottom Line: To fully hear your clients and understand them, pause your agenda.
Inspiring clients to act in their best interests starts with your ability to slow down your own thoughts with a healthy dose of ‘agendaless’ listening.”
The Author
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