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Effective collaborators practice active listening so others feel that their opinions matter and they are part of the decision-making process.

Many advisors think of themselves as terrific collaborators, yet what about when the prospective or current client doesn’t agree? Consider the following brief exchange:

Advisor: “Given the concentration of several highly appreciated stocks in your portfolio, let’s explore some strategies to help reduce your risk in a tax-efficient way?”

Client: “We’re thinking the same thing. What strategies do you have in mind?”

It’s easy to feel like a gifted collaborator in this scenario. What if the client responds differently?

Client: “We are very comfortable with our position and are not interested in reducing our exposure.”

If this was your client, how would this response make you feel? Would you double down on defending the virtues of diversification and the risks of concentration? To help us understand what might be happening at a deeper level in the subconscious, let’s turn to “A New Earth” by Eckart Tolle:

“Each person is so identified with the thoughts that make up their opinion, that those thoughts harden into mental positions which are invested with a sense of self. In other words: identity and thought merge. Once this has happened, when I defend my opinions (thoughts), I feel and act as if I were defending my very self.”

How can we reframe our perspective so that motivating clients to act isn’t sabotaged by ego? Follow Tolle’s advice: “Don’t seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.” Here are two approaches to help you collaborate consciously with clients:

  1. Listen with intentionality. This requires that you leave yourself behind and focus on seeing the world through the eyes of the other person.
  2. Set a collaborative tone. By using certain words and phrases, effective collaborators ensure that their clients feel like their opinions are being heard.

Bottom Line: Inspire clients to act by maintaining an even-keel, ensuring clients feel like their opinions are being heard. 

Effective collaborators practice active listening so others will feel that their opinions matter and they are part of the decision-making process.”

The Author